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The following is a dialogue between Tim and Mike, which Tim
started with the quote below. Mike felt that the
relationship to Subject/Object was of enough value to have an
open discussion in a webinar which will be held on
Friday, October 18 at 8:30 PM ET.
If you would like to attend, add your email below and you will
receive the call-in information. You will also be sent
the recording if the time is not good for you.
Remember it’s not staying in
your comfort zone that produces transformation, but
self-knowledge and awareness. Don’t try to change your
reactions today. It’s enough to see them more clearly.
So… being aware of who and how we are is actually
discomforting in a way that may transform?
"Transform" is such a loaded word.
But it seems accurate that a closer scrutiny of self (an
examined life) creates change to self.
Finding tools that foster that self knowledge and awareness is
the trick. Tools that are appropriate for a given individual.
Tim
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And ones current subject/object orientation
Mike
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And "current subject/object orientation" would be dictated by?
As I interpret, it is similar to how I understand trajectory.
I am trying here to expand my perspective without losing my
clarity.
The quote I shared was not originally offered in a generalized
context but was sent to a person because they reported as a 9
on the enneagram. I do not know what that might mean but I am
trying to work with this in a meta way, so it doesn’t
matter…
Whatever a person may report as, in any assessment, is like a
slice, whether it is motive profile, learning style, type,
trait or preference, it is a slice. People are made up of
slices and different people with their different slices may be
more or less apt to shift their subject/object at a given
time.
Also they may be more or less apt to utilize certain tools
that may help them shift their subject/object depending on
their point on a trajectory or combination of slices. Some
folks, for the same reasons, are very much less likely to
shift at all and that is ok.
Said another way: Whatever developmental level a person is at
and what slices they are made up of, will influence what they
are capable of using. And, I think, whatever their point on
their trajectory is (or motive profile, learning style, type,
trait, or preference) influences what tools are apt to be
effective/ineffective at facilitating "transformation." Ugh.
Although it is not easy to inspire change, and especially, to
dictate/order change is as easy as pushing a string, right?
There are tools to scaffold change or facilitate/emerge
development.
Behaviors that focus on shifting subject/object can change
individuals, for better or worse.
IMHO meditation, over time, can result in a shift in what we
take as subject and what we take as object.
Therapies, some, probably do stimulate a similar process.
(What are some others? Journaling, perhaps? Robert Kegan’s
Competing Commitment exercise? Assessment work? Others?)
As an individual shifts what they are subject to out in to
their (still theirs) objective field they gain a perspective
of self as (temporarily) other. When that is sustained over
time, through practice, it shakes things lose, lightens the
grip of identity and, ideally, enlarges the possibility to
identify with something, well, larger.
Though is that better? That depends.
I wrote "ideally" because it can also cause insecurity or
dysfunction to run rampant. My experience with intensive, 10
day, 11 hours per, silent meditation retreats has shown me
that it can relax some. Yet others that "self
selected"(unrecognized external influence? Did they "know
themselves" well enough?) for participation, crack under the
pressure. There seems to be one every time. Most undergo, at
least, discomfort during such an intense process but some
really suffer psychic breaks. Some spiritual breakthroughs or
some generally useful insights.
To Mike’s credit, his coach2 training that he developed is
designed to facilitate a subject/object shift. I asked him
that directly once and he said "for sure." He said that he
consciously designed it that way. He, I believe, has clearly
stated that it is a meditative form of coaching.
It is a process, when done correctly, that requires the coach
to put aside their own mental models, to set aside the
thoughts that arise, (thus objectifying them) the feelings
that arise and pay attention, or try to pay attention to what
is….trying to pay attention to what is happening before it
is filtered and manipulated by the coach’s filters and biases.
It requires practice.
And who is that apropos for?
Depending on an individual’s slices and/or their S/O
orientation, some are better at that process than others. Some
more likely to download it than others.
And that brings us back to knowing oneself. That enneagram
quote I shared reminded me of the dictum "know thyself" maybe
we could say "know thyself and you might change." And you
might change because your relationship to who you thought you
were changes. The system has been perturbed….
Fluid beings we are and yet not.
Leaves me interested in other tools for generating self
knowledge and playing with subject/object games. Does anyone
know more tools that do that?
Tim
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This is interesting…
Your s/o has shifted since San Diego, hehe
Probably time for a Q&A session if you feel like hosting it.
Mike
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